Mario Villain's Hidden Romance: The Musical
by Fear the Silly People
Summary: Sigh Just read the title... Rated for safety. Cookies for all who R & R, don't and I'll eat a cookie in front of you, in slow motion!
1. Scene 1

**Yeah, I have yet another weird idea... It's a kind of parody of Bowser x Peach, it's where Bowser falls in love with Peach. And the other enemies of Mario are not sure of what to make of this... (A/N: This fic is written in script format 'cuz that's how I originally wrote it, XP)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mario, or any of the songs in this fic! Kapeache'?**

**So now, without further adeau, I now present...**

**Mario Villain's Hidden Romance: The Musical **

**Scene 1: Valentines day**

(At rise, Bowser is sitting in a chair at stage right, he looks rather sad, Kamek enters and notices Bowser)

**Kamek:** (Slightly nervous) Um, what troubles you, your highness?

**Bowser:** (Sighs) It's Valentines Day...

**Kamek:** (puzzled) So?

**Bowser:** So? SO? Havn't you noticed, Kammy? I have about as many valentines as a neglected, undeveloped character! (Waluigi enters from stage left, he is carrying a large stack of valentines day cards)

**Waluigi: **(throwing 1 card at a time with each number over his shoulder as he walks) 132, 133, 134, 135- (notices Bowser and Kamek) Oh, hi! (continues, and then exits on stage right)

**Bowser:** (-.-') Maybe I shouldn't have said that...

**Kamek:** (Sighs) Touche'. As I was about to ask: Why are you concerned about Valentines day, your highness? (As if on cue, Peach enters)

**Peach:** Oh, hi Bowser, hi Kamek! What are you two doing here? (Bowser shrugs) Oh... alright. (She exits)

**Bowser:** That's the reason.

**Kamek:** What?

**Bowser:** Peach!

**Kamek:** What about Peach?

**Bowser:** Well... I... Um... Uh... (really quickly) Ireallylikeher!

**Kamek:** What?

**Bowser:** I said: (Still kinda quick) I really like her!

**Kamek:** Huh?

**Bowser:** (getting annoyed) Is this really that hard to explain? What should I do? SING about it?

**Kamek:** I... guess... so...

**Bowser:** Alright... (other villans enter and take their positions onstage) Cue music! (Stands up)

**Vertigo**

**Bowser:** Unos! Dos! Tres! Cartorce! (guitar solo)

Lights,

go down,

it's dark!

The jungle is your head,

can't rule

your heart

a feelin's so much strong-

ger than

A thought. Yours eyes are wider

though your soul, it can't!

Be bought your mind can wander!

**Chorus**

**All:** Hello! Hello! I'm at a place called Vertigo!

It's everthing I wish I didn't know,

except you, give me something... I can feeeell! Feeeel!

(End Chorus)

**Bowser:** The night,

is full of holes,

as bullets rip the sky

of ink, with gold

They twinkle as the boys play rock and roll,

they know that they can't dance, at least they know

I can't stand the beats,

I'm asking for the cheque.

The girl with crimson nails,

Has Jesus 'round her neck!

Swingin' to the music!

**All:** Swingin' to the music!

Whoooooaaaa! Whoooaaaa!

**Chorus**

**Bridge**

**All:** All of this, and all of us can be yours (repeat 1st part of Bridge) Just give me 1 on 1, and no one get hurt...

(End Bridge)

**All:** Hello! Hello! I'm at a place called Vertigo!

**Bowser:** Lights go down, and all I know,

is that you, give me something, I can feel,

your love is teachin' me hoooowwww,

your love is teachin' me hooowww,

how to kneeel! Kneeelll!

**Everyone else:** Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

(Song ends, all villans except for Bowser and Kamek exit)

**Kamek:** Oh... B-but your highness, that sort of thing... I-it's just (quietly) wrong.

**Bowser:** (Angry) But WHAT, Kamek? What could be wrong! It's love! There's nothing wrong about it!

**Kamek:** (kinda scared) I-it's just a thought, your most awesomeness. I-i was merely was thinking about it... (comically exagerating fear)

**Bowser:** (Snarling) Know what? Screw this! I'm heading back to the castle. (Exits in a huff, Kamek follows, Kooper enters)

**Kooper:** And that ladies and gentlemen, is what begins our story of Bowser's quest for Peach's heart... (Blackout, he exits)

**~Scene ends~**

**Woah... That was... Unexpected. Anyhoo, watch for the next scene, and I promise that it will be funnier than this one. So R & R please, I laugh in the face of Flamers!**


	2. Scene 2

**Here we are, with the next scene! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't anything! (Characters: Thank GOODNESS!)**

**Scene 2: The Next Day, Elsewhere**

(the Wicked Bros. (usually known as the Wario Bros.) are in a park, Wario is reading the newspaper, Waluigi is reading over Wario shoulder)

**Waluigi:** (notices an odd article in the newspaper) That's funny...

**Wario:** What is?

**Waluigi:** You see that article? (points to the odd article, Wario looks at said article and after reading it, looks up with a quizzical expression)

**Wario:** Yeah, it's kind of... Strange.

**Waluigi:** Well, it kinda reminded me of what Bowser did yesterday...

**Wario:** (Confuzzled) What'd Bowser do?

**Waluigi:** He admitted it!

**Wario:** (really confuzzled) admitted what?

**Waluigi:** He likes her!

**Wario:** Who?

**Waluigi:** Peach!

**Wario:** What does Peach have to do this, I thought we were talking about-

**Waluigi:** NO! (slowly) Bowser. Likes. Peach.

**Wario:** Ohhhh... So why didn't you say so? (Waluigi face-palms)

**Wario:** (cont.) Oh, Wally, it's too bad that smart king like Bowser has to go fall in love the enemy ruler!

**Waluigi:** Wario! THAT is his weakness, and we should be tolerate because I am told it is a _Worldwide_ weakness! Look!

**Guys and Dolls**

**Waluigi:** What's playing at the Roxie?

I'll tell you what's playing at the Roxie!

Picture about a Minnesota man falls in love with a Mississippi girl that he sacrifices everything and moves all the to Boloxi!

That's what's playing at the Roxy!

**Wario:** What's in the Daily news,

I'll tell you what's in the Daily news:

Story about a guy who bought his wife his small ruby that what otherwise would have been his union dues!

That's what's in the Daily news!

**Both:** What's happening all over?

We'll tell you what's happening all over!

Guy sitting at home with a television set that used to be something of a Rover!

That's what's happening all over!

Love is the thing that has licked 'em!

And it looks like Bowser's just another victim!

**Waluigi:** (Spoken) Yes, sir!

When you see a guy,

reach for stars in the sky,

you can bet, that he's doing it for some doll!

**Wario:** When you spot a John, waiting out in the rain

chance are he's insane, as only a John can be for a Jane!

**Both:** When you meet a gent,

paying all kinds of rent for a flat,

that could flatten the Taj Mahal!

Call it sad! Call it funny!

But it's better than even money,

that the guy's only doing it for some doll!

**Wario:** When you see a Joe, saving half of his doe,

you can bet that he's mink in it for some doll!

**Waluigi:** When a bum buys wine, like a bum can afford,

it's a cinch that the bum, is under the thumb of some little broad!

**Both:** When you meet a mug lately out of the jug,

and he's still lifting platinum folderol!

Call it hell! Call it heaven!

it's probable 12 to 7,

that the guy's only doing it for some doll!

(instrumental)

**Waluigi:** When you see a sport, and his cash has run short,

make a bet that he's banking it with some doll!

**Wario:** When a guy wears tails with the front gleaming white,

who the hell do you think he's tickling pink on Saturday night!

**Waluigi:** When a lazy slob (Wario glares at him and gets ignored for it),

takes a good, steady job-

**Both:** and he smells of vitalis and barbasol!

Call it dumb! Call it clever!

Ah, but you can get odds forever,

that the guy's only doing it for some doll! Some doll, some doll!

The guy's only doing for some Dolllll!

(Song ends)

**Wario:** Well, that explains alot!

**Waluigi:** (Rolls his eyes, says sarcastically) No, really? (The scene freezes, Kooper enters)

**Kooper:** Well, my friends. Word is getting around the Mushroom Kingdom, the news of Bowser's love for Peach is spreading quickly. Will this turn of events turn out for the better... or worse? Well, let's get back to the story and find out! (Blackout, the scene changes to the manision in "Luigi's Mansion," Donkey Kong (DK) and his gang (Diddy Kong (dK) and Funky Kong (FK)) are visiting King Boo (KB), they're in KB's room while he is on his laptop, looking at his Facebook page (A/N: Yes, he has a Facebook page! XP)

**KB:** (Jumps out of his seat, surprised) Oh Holy Mushroom Drops!

**DK, FK, and dK:** What? What is it? etc. etc.

**KB:** I just got the message, Wario and Waluigi have just confirmed that Bowser is in love!

**FK:** (Skeptical) with who?

**KB:** Peach. (Sarcastically) Who else? Lady Gaga?

**FK:** What? You got somethin' to critisize, ghost?

**KB:** Why you-

**DK:** Guys! Calm down, Boo, what does the message actually SAY!

**KB:** (reading the message) "Bowser loves Peach, spread the word! (But don't tell Peach! XP)" That's all it says...

**dK:** (Sarcastic) oh, goody... So, now what? We just sit back and watch? The Wicked Brothers are getting involved, should we join them?

**KB:** Well, I, for one, am _not_ about to let those two get all the screen time! (To the monkeys) You guys with me or not?

**DK:** (pumps his fist up into the air) Oh, yeah!

**FK:** (Shrugs) Alright.

**dK:** Let's... But first, we sing!

**KB:** (0.o) why...?

**dK:** Cuz it's a musical! Duh! (Ghosts enter)

**Chasing his Heart (Chasing the Whos from "Seussical, the Musical" rewritten)**

**KB: **Up out of the kingdom, up into the sky!

Up over the mountains.

**All:** Ten thousand feet high! And down from the mountains

and into the news!

Went Bowser the koopa, chasing his heart!

**Monkeys:** Chasing his heart! (Kooper enters with a microphone, and is in a helicopter)

**Kooper:** This is Bowser's left hand man from skycam 5, folks, the Koopa Kingdom is one heck of a drive, we've got monkeys and boos on the 302! I'd find alternate routes if I were you! (He flies offstage)

**All:** And over the desert, the desert of drieze. And into the forest, with thousands of trees!

Past leeches on beaches!

**Wicked Bros.:** (Peeking out from stage left) And Wicked siblings! (They duck back off)

**Ghosts:** Went Bowser the Koopa, chasing his heart!

**Monkeys:** Chasing his heart!

**Ghosts:** Chasing his heart! (This continues until the music fades)

**Song ends**

**KB:** Well, that was pointless...

**DK:** I couldn't agree more, my friend. But either way-

**All:** Let's-a GO! (They exit, Kooper enters and watches them go)

**Kooper:** This should be interesting... How will Bowser react to all this drama? Well, my friends, you'll have to stay in your seat to find out...

**As Kooper put it, you should keep reading if you want to find out what happens next, and reviews are deeply appreciated! :D**


	3. Scene 3

**New Scene! Yeyz!**

**A/N: Therewill be some songs that involve more than one group of singers, so I split the characters into 2 groups based off of singing voice.**

**Group 1 (Alto to Soprano): King Boo, Waluigi, Diddy Kong, Shadow Queen, Kammy, Peach, and Daisy.**

**Group 2 (Baritone or lower): Wario, Donkey Kong, Funky Kong, Bowser, Kamek, Kooper, and Mr. L.**

**Disclaimer: I don't anything! You got that? Yes? Good.**

**Scene 3: Back at the Castle (the Throne Room)**

(Bowser is pacing back and forth in frustration)

**Bowser:** GAAHHHHH! Stupid Wario Brothers! (Apparently he has recently looked at Facebook... -.-')

**Wicked Bros:** (They're shouting this from offstage (XD)) NO! It's Wicked Bros, what the heck is so hard about that?

**Bowser:** (roars back at them, just as loudly (or louder for that matter)) AH, WHATEVER! (Kammy enters, slightly frightened) What do you want, Kammy?

**Kammy:** (She's slightly nervous) What seems to be the problem, your higness?

**Bowser:** (Really ticked off) It's those stupid War- Wicked Brothers! Spreading rumors about me liking Peach!

**Kammy:** Actually, it's true!

**Bowser:** And how do you know that?

**Kammy:** Kamek, he told me.

**Bowser:** (Sighs) alright, you got me. I told Kamek, yesterday.

**Kammy:** Yes, Bowser, it's not easy to keep secrets from a magikoopa.

**Bowser:** Yeah?

**Kammy:** (:D) Yup! Anyhoo, you gotta understand this, a girl won't go after you simply because you're rich, which you are.

**Bowser:** Yes.

**Kammy:** Also, you gotta go at it at a certain angle. Love is a very precarious thing, say one thing, and the WHOLE operation could go down the toilet! Understand?

**Bowser:** Uh...

**Kammy:** Good! Moving on, (says to audience) since this is a musical, I decided I'd sing a little something for you all.

(Kamek and the cast enter)

**Do you Believe in Magic?**

**Kammy:** Do you believe in magic,

in a young girl's heart?

How the music can free her, whenever it starts and it's magic!

**Kamek:** If the music is groovy, it makes you feel happy like an old time movie!

All: I'll tell you about the magic in the free old soul, it's like trying to tell a stranger about Rock and Roll!

Do you believe in magic? Don't bother to choose, if it's a chuggin' down music, or rhythm and blues just go, listen!

It'll start with a smile, it won't wipe off your face no matter how hard you try!

Your feet start tappin' and you can't seem to find, how you got there, so just blow your mind!

**Kammy and Kamek:** If you believe in magic, come along with me, we'll dance until morning, and it's just you and me, and maybe:

If the music is right, I'll meet you tomorrow some late at night!

And we'll go dancin', baby. Then you'll see, that the magic's in the music and the music's in me!

Yeah

**All:** do you believe in magic

Yeah, believe in the magic of a young girl's soul,

believe in the magic of rock and roll,

believe in the magic that can set you free!

Ohhh... Talkin' bout magic!

**Group 1:** Believe in magic?

**Group 2:** Do you believe like I believe? (Do this in a round and repeat until the music stops)

(Song ends, Everyone except for Bowser and Kammy exit)

**Bowser:** You know, you didn't need to explain it to me that way.

**Kammy:** Really? Well, you looked like you needed it, your Really-Feel-Better-Nowess. (^.^)

**Bowser:** ... (Gives her a quizzical look)

**Kammy:** What?

**Bowser:** Nothing... (A loud crash is heard offstage) JR, GO TO BED! (To Kammy) Look, I need to go make sure Jr. goes to bed. (he exits)

**Kammy:** Good night, your highness. (She exits, Kooper enters)

**Kooper:** Well, Bowser knows. Let's see what happens next... (Kooper exits)

**That's all folks! 'Til next time! :D**

**See ya, this is Miranda... Signing off!**


End file.
